Wilfork

Suddenly feeling an inexplicable urge to take BLOGgin' back up... Which is a damn shame, considering nobody reads my BLOG anymore. Back in the day, I'd be able to jot down any old crap and expect at least a response or two.

But no mas.

Nowadays, I'm spouting my witticisms into the blank, empty abyss that is the Internet... a place where dreams go to die. Or at least get altered into pornography of some description.

Damnation, I really didn't have anything to type, did I? Why actually, yes I did, but it's roughly a month later than it should have been. Just watching week one's Bills/Pats Monday night matchup, and have to declare - the personal foul called on Vince Wilfork early in the third quarter was absolute BULLSHIT. I can't believe how incredibly ridiculous that call was! I thought the flag was for intentional grounding, because that's the only goddamn penalty I saw on that play.

Isn't it funny how as our awareness of the game's nuances evolve, the officiating has somehow over the last couple of years degenerated to absolute shit? I say this with great caution, because I'm almost certain that idiot Goodell is scanning the web for any negative words spoken of his precious officials... I'm half-expecting a fine here.

Alright. Enough about football games that happened four weeks ago. Let's get to the world of today, shall we? It seems to me as though I'm a strange mix of lethargy and insomnia these days... I can't get to sleep at night, but during my waking hours it's all I want to do.
I can't decipher exactly why my body would have wanted to shift to a nocturnal state, but I just assume that I'm so highly evolved that it has its reasons, that we shall all discover shortly. I recommend everyone else makes the change quickly, before suddenly going to bed at 1 am is all the rage, and you missed your chance!

Sorry, what?

Ah yes, BLOG. You know, it's funny - I occasionally scan over the most frequently read BLOGs to see what the popular kids have on offer, and it would appear as though at the moment, I'm mightily outmatched.

Right now, the State of MANtana offers helpful advice on how women can please a man (namely by 'shutting the fuck up and getting me a sandwich'), DocManJay is proudly stating his belief of God, while Human Evolution has amusingly chosen to write a BLOG about why religion is wrong. Add in there Eminem celebrating the fifth anniversary of Shade 45 (one line of text followed by a video from another website is enough to garner 157 kudos, incidentally... In my years of BLOGging, I've collected 55).

Put simply, I'm fucked. You know what my conversational piece was? Vince Wilfork tackling Trent Edwards four fucking weeks ago. I don't think that will be enough to evoke in my reading public an intense urge to weigh in on this exciting debate. And even if they were to read, I'm sure that they'd be more interested as to when and why it was that I started saying 'fuck' in my BLOGs.

Self-censorship was cute for years, but my opinions aren't PG, I've finally realised. All because popular programming need adhere to restrictions in order for them to remain in popular syndication, I myself have the glorious luxury of not being in syndication. ...Or popular, for that matter.

Besides, I was a lazy man to begin with, and years of becoming a jaded theatre twat have soured me into this bitter shell of a thing with an ego that's a queer combination of being both tattered and deflated, as well as an insatiable hunger for my services somehow becoming desirable.

I hadn't intended to go on an acting spiel, but why the hell not. It was either that or Wilfork.

So anyhow, I'm talented. Massively talented. More talented than the whole State of MANtana, for that matter. It's just such a pity and a shame that the unwashed masses haven't quite cottoned onto that yet. It's a curious thing, really, this egotistical view that I'm above the people, while so desperately seeking their recognition. Some years ago, my good friend Chris Lane realised that his contempt for the idiotic everyman meant that he need not pander to them and be out there to please them. He became a far more focused, driven individual than I'd ever seen him before due to this.

Not me, however. I want people to give a shit that I'm a violent alcoholic who churns out shitty movies at a fervent rate, constantly with the 'troubled' label attached to my name. The media really need to come up with more buzz words. Every goddamn celebrity out there is described as 'troubled'.

Just letting you know, budding journalists, Amy Winehouse is not troubled. She is in actual fact what we like to call a shithead.

When will it be my turn, dammit? Jessica used to reprimand me for so desperately seeking fame, considering it to be shallow and potentially dangerous, but did it deter me in the slightest? Nope.
It's a funny thing, you know, because you ask nearly any celebrity out there, and they'll tell you that they miss the anonymity of everyday life. That they'd trade all the money, fame and glory in the world to just be like everyone else...

Bullshit.

The apathetic at best, but more likely completely oblivious public opinion I hold is one of the most infuriating things in my life; something that I gripe about constantly and desperately long for a change. You could in all fairness say that I've never experienced the celebrities' lives, so I can't really judge them. And I can't offer a counter-argument to that... No, I've never been famous. I could very possibly end up hating it and eat these very words I'm spouting out so furiously.

But... you just feel it, you know? It's what I want. I've had to scale back every now and then in accordance with what I can realistically expect from life; at one time I intended to be the world's greatest actor, but over the years it's occurred to me that, unfortunately, I'm not really much of an actor. Any straight roles I've played could be kindly described as shithouse. Rather content then to be known as the world's greatest character actor, time slowly wore away at that notion too, as my mind started ticking in unfortunate ways until I'd convinced myself that I'm not exactly doing great shakes in character acting; what I portray is less about acting, just more about being extravagant and big. Well shit, I'm just an entertainer then.

A great many things I'm apparently not, but I'm still pretty certain that I've got enough marketability to make something happen. It's a damn shame that it doesn't come with any kind of work ethic whatsoever; I've done jack shit for years and I've got mostly myself to blame for that. Tragically, my once very reasonable belief that I would just somehow become famous without any effort whatsoever seems slightly less reasonable nowadays.

Christ, I'm probably going to regret posting this somehow. I really am an arrogant, pompous prick when it comes down to it. I guess that's the good thing about having a BLOG that nobody reads anymore; you can feel good that you've expressed yourself without any fear of repercussions afterwards.
And honestly, looking back on what this BLOG has become, even I myself must declare...

tl;dr