Thursday, January 28, 2016

Tony's top 20 male wrestlers

It seems we're going through one of those phases where my passion for wrestling is reignited; no sooner did I finally push out the sequel to HiH (something I had been working on for months), I've gone back into my old obsession. And what better way to celebrate my decades of fandom than by counting down... yes, you heard it here... my top 20 male wrestlers of all time?!

As dormant as my wrestling obsession is, it's still managed to be an ever-shifting and evolving creature, so this list could be shaken up time and time again as I broaden my horizons. For now, at least, it's pretty solid. Let me take you on a journey through the squared circle...!

#20: Goldust
Real name: Dustin Virgil Riley Runnels III
Debut: 1988
From: Hollywood, California
Height: 6'6" Weight: 232 lbs.
By and large, I'm not a fan of gimmicks. When done wrong, they can completely belittle the talents of competent wrestlers, overtaking the actual athlete to become their main, damning aspect (see: Terry Taylor as the Red Rooster). Occasionally, a gimmick works, and becomes a crucial component that can separate your typical wrestler from the crowd (see: Mark Calloway as the Undertaker).

Where do I stand, then, on Goldust? On the one hand, I actually adore the character - his promos have been some of the best in the business over the years, his look is unique, and his persona and in-ring antics are hilarious. On the other hand, people tend to forget that Dustin Runnels is actually a really freakin' good wrestler: his pace and in-ring psychology are solid, and some may assume that his flamboyant character have relegated him to the role of 'supporting cast'. You'll never have Goldust as your heavyweight champion, but based on his merit alone, Runnels would suit the role nicely.



#19: Rey Mysterio
Real name: Óscar Gutiérrez
Debut: 1989
From: San Diego, California
Height: 5'6" Weight: 175 lbs.
Though most Americans are aware of the legend of lucha libre, without Rey Mysterio, Jr., it may not have shot into the forefront of the social conscience the way it has. Observe: mention the names El Santo or Mil Máscaras, most casual fans will look at you with bemusement. Just say Rey Mysterio and - ¡Dios mío! - vivid images of the human propellor launch to mind.

Rey Rey has gone through endless nonsense throughout his career: unmasked in WCW (the Mexican equivalent to a spiritual depantsing), Mysterio could have gone down the route of endless little guys before him: perpetual cruiserweight who never hits the big time. Thankfully, WWE gave him the push he deserved, capturing three world championships. His flea like stature makes him a spectacle to watch, and all these years later, despite injuries slowing him down, he's still better value than wrestlers half his age.




#18: Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat
Real name: Richard Henry Blood Sr.
Debut: 1976
From: Honolulu, Hawaii
Height: 5'10" Weight: 235 lbs.

It's no secret that wrestling has long been a club for the big boys; behemoths who tower over the competition and move with the agility of a sack of rye. Though things have definitely changed for the better in recent years, when a short, intense guy of partial Japanese descent like Steamboat hit the scene in the late 70s, he had all of the odds stacked against him. However, Ricky Steamboat was a no-nonsense competitor: intense, precise and explosive. He captured hearts and imaginations as the landscape of wrestling was beginning to shift, and we were all the beneficiaries of his abilities.

For one thing, Steamboat is one of those guys who you just really believed could legitimately beat the everlasting shit out of you. It certainly helped that he was portrayed as a Bruce Lee-type figure. And yes, that's a gross generalisation of Asian martial arts, but it certainly worked. He had that definite feel to him of a lethal weapon - this was obviously a man you didn't want to mess with.



#17: Edge
Real name: Adam Joseph Copeland
Debut: 1992
From: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Height: 6'5" Weight: 241 lbs.

Depending on when you were watching wrestling, you might remember a very different edition of Edge, each with their own merits, each with their own achievements. The later version, fuelled by a lot of legitimate heat, rose to be one of the best heels in the game - an incredible performer capable of generating vitriol that had been absent in years. It was at this time he saw the height of his success, claiming multiple heavyweight championships and looked to as the wrestler who revitalised the position of the company's top bad guy.

The version I knew and loved, however, was that of a man who did whatever had to be done to compel the fans. Unfortunately for him, that frequently involved him doing things that would make normal men cringe. Edge took and delivered bumps that were punishing and brutal, and kept coming back for more. Take a brief sojourn through either of the TLC classics, if you will, to see the fullest extent of this punishment. These are the things of legend.



#16: Shelton Benjamin
Real name: Shelton James Benjamin
Debut: 2000
From: Orangeburg, South Carolina
Height: 6'2" Weight: 248 lbs.
So let's talk about missed opportunities here. When Kurt Angle came along, you had a legitimate amateur wrestler with a great look and boundless charisma, whose transition to the pro game was seamless. He would go on to become a world champion with the WWE six times. Shelton Benjamin, cut largely in the same mould, got a few good angles (no pun intended), but never got the nod to become the main event.

And it's a damn shame, because in Benjamin you have a pure specimen who is smooth, exciting and clinical. Of course, WWE achievements aren't necessarily a true barometer of success (DDP, anyone?) but considering it's where I've spent most of my viewing past, it's of significance in my rankings. If I were assembling a company tomorrow (and who knows? Maybe I will! I have some spare time), I would definitely book Benjamin as my #1 guy.



#15: Dean Malenko
Real name: Dean Simon
Debut: 1979
From: Tampa, Florida
Height: 5'10" Weight: 212 lbs.

We shift, quite radically, from a larger than life character to a man who was all about business. Every single technique that Malenko implemented was picture perfect. You want the best suplex? Watch Malenko. You want the best single leg crab? Watch Malenko. You want to learn how to nail any manoeuvre, simple or complex, you need look no further than this man.

In a business where promos can make or break the man, he was straight to the point. Not flashy. Sometimes, he even looked uncomfortable. But as soon as he got between those ropes, you knew you were in for a treat. Should I ever seek a trainer for my illustrious wrestling career (I never could settle on a finisher, I'll have you know), Malenko is one of the top three guys I would seek out, no question at all.



#14: Booker T
Real name: Booker Huffman Jr.
Debut: 1989
From: Houston, Texas
Height: 6'3" Weight: 256 lbs.

Oh hell yes. I've been looking forward to talking about Booker T, an electrifying in-ring performer who delivered everything so solidly, you practically felt the sting. However, I've been most looking forward to this because he is one of my favourite entertainers in wrestling history. His promos were loud, wild and wacky, and his colourful stint tagging with Goldust is easily among my top 10 tag teams (another list for another article, methinks).

A five time (Five time! Five time! Five time! Five time!) WCW champion, Booker took a backseat for years in the WWE, for reasons I still haven't quite figured out. He didn't have the heavyweight strap around his waist until the curious King Booker angle, a royalty gimmick that I wasn't particularly into. Why not just give him the gold without the schtick? It certainly worked everywhere else! Ahh, who knows... Point is, Booker gave you a great show, whether it was in the ring, or on the mic. It's no wonder he transitioned so smoothly to commentating.



#13: Christian
Real name: William Jason Reso
Debut: 1995
From: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Height: 6'1" Weight: 212 lbs.

Frequently in tag teams, there's a tier system in place. There's the guy, and then there's the guy. Marty Jannetty and Shawn Michaels. Jim Neidhart and Bret Hart. ...Christian and Edge? Some may argue such, and though Christian's real life best friend Edge did hit incredible heights, I was always more of a Christian guy. Edge was the looker, Christian gave you the grittiness and the... oh, forgive me for this... the undeniable edge.

A necessary heel in my eyes, Christian bounced through many hilarious personas following the team's demise; and whether you prefer his early, sparkle-laden antics, second-in-command of the Un-Americans, his tenure as the CLB, or the hilarity of Captain Charisma and his 'Peeps', he offered you endless value. It goes without saying that he was dynamite between the ropes to boot, but damn man, Christian easily ranks in my top ten on the mic. Even if you hadn't realised it before, sit there and think about it... I'm right, aren't I?



#12: Cactus Jack
Real name: Michael Francis Foley
Debut: 1983
From: Truth or Consequences, New Mexico
Height: 6'2" Weight: 287 lbs.

Join me, if you'd like, in a game known as 'Pick Your Mick'. Effectively, Mick Foley donned three major personas during his career and, unlike most wrestlers who would prefer for some of their alter egos to be forgotten (I'm looking at you, Isaac Yankem, DDS!!), Foley dedicated to each wholly and successfully, to the point where they are almost considered different wrestlers each and of their own. He saw the height of his success as Mankind, the leather-masked freak who attacked opponents with a dirty sock, and his dream character and career prequel, one Dude Love, may be Foley's personal favourite - a man who preaches fun, freedom and good times. But for me, and this is probably largely due to the journey his first autobiography took me on, I'll always be a Cactus Jack guy. Because who doesn't love a batshit crazy cowboy? It fit Foley to a tee - and we all know the man was batshit crazy in all of the best ways. His promos were intense, bizarre and cerebral, and his bumps? Oh god, the way he would bump!

Let's be honest, Foley was us, man... And we loved him for it.



#11: William Regal
Real name: Darren Kenneth Matthews
Debut: 1983
From: Blackpool, England
Height: 6'3" Weight: 243 lbs.

Putting the fun back in fundamentals since 1983, William (or Steve, if you prefer) Regal is a wonderful juxtaposition of classy British personality with ruthless, brutish physicality. Regal taught us that it was perfectly acceptable to be a thug, as long as you did it with dignity. Seriously though, Regal gave you the whole package: he was one of the top in-ring mechanics, he had seething, venomous power on the microphone, and understood match psychology like few others. Though a lot of his WWE stint was played for laughs (slugging the opponents with brass knuckles, kissing McMahon's rear and - my personal favourite - accidentally peeing on the Big Show's leg), there was nothing funny about his talent. His occasional partnerships with Lance Storm (two-time WWE World Tag champs) is one of my favourite duos of all time, and a perfect example of what happens when you pair two talented wrestlers together.



#10: Mr. Perfect
Real name: Curtis Michael "Curt" Hennig
Debut: 1980
From: Robbinsdale, Minnesota
Height: 6'3" Weight: 257 lbs.

Rarely has a moniker suited a wrestler so well. Mr. Perfect was everything he was advertised to be, and a revelation between the ropes that still gets me excited to this day. His look: perfect. His physique and smug grin made him a recognisable grappler. His promos: perfect +. Just pick one and watch it - you will be enamoured with him instantly (if you're unsure, try his meeting with Vikings' tight end Steve Jordan). His ability in the ring? perfect ++. He moved at a speed that made him look like a man half his size; he was quick, exciting and methodical. He made things thrilling in a way other big men weren't at the time (save for one guy who may make an appearance later in this list!)

...Oh, and for the record, if we're talking about his entrance music, it is perfect ++++. I want to walk down the wedding aisle to that shit, man.



#9: Eddie Guerrero
Real name: Eduardo Gory "Eddie" Guerrero Llanes
Debut: 1987
From: El Paso, Texas
Height: 5'8" Weight: 220 lbs.

You may have surmised while looking through this list that I have a particular affinity for heels. Whether it's a coincidence, or the fact that their role of antagonising the crowd makes them more fun to me, I seem more likely to be cheering for the guy who's getting the jeers. For much of his career, this was Eddie Guerrero, but later on, he became the WWE's new version of Stone Cold Steve Austin: a guy who did all of the wrong things, but we just loved him all the more.

Guerrero's face turn, circa 2002, made him one of the most endearing characters of all time. Like they said, he lied, he cheated and he stole, but at least he was honest about it. I'm loath to mention Chris Benoit, but the moment the two shared at WrestleMania XX as champions was beautiful. Eddie had a lot more in the tank, and his early death is one of the reasons I began to lose interest in wrestling.



#8: Owen Hart
Real name: Owen James Hart
Debut: 1983
From: Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Height: 5'10" Weight: 229 lbs.

While we're on the subject of early deaths, we will never forget the horrible, tragic way that Owen Hart's life ended way too soon. What people tend to forget, however, is that during his career, he was possibly the most underrated wrestler of all time.

Owen was just dynamite, man. He was electric, he was clever and he was spritely. Often relegated to the shadows as 'Bret's brother', it was through no fault of his own that he didn't receive the necessary push to become the top dog. He was interchangeable as a face or a heel, he brought you everything you wanted as a wrestler and a human being, and he could do it all, no matter what gimmick you lumped him with. I don't know why, but sixteen years after the accident, thinking about all of the untapped potential Owen had still makes me mad as hell.



#7: Jushin Thunder Liger
Real name: Keiichi Yamada
Debut: 1984
From: Tokyo, Japan
Height: 5'7" Weight: 209 lbs.

Do you have a favourite Japanese wrestler? Whether you're a fan of Tiger Mask or Ultimo Dragon or any of the myriad to have come from the land of the rising sun, one thing remains consistent: talent. Without the American obsession with pushing guys based more on their size than their ability, you often see the cream of the crop in Japanese wrestling, and a purer product as a result.

Liger's anime-based appearance is a sight to behold, but once the match starts, the true amazement begins. His fluidity and athleticism are top notch, and the fact that it's hard to tell how old he is in a match is a testament to how he has remained at the top of his game for so long. Though he saw his best success in the USA with WCW, his top stuff was when he was back home in Japan. Check out Liger vs. Owen Hart for a prime example of this!



#6: "Macho Man" Randy Savage
Real name: Randy Mario Poffo
Debut: 1973
From: Sarasota, Florida
Height: 6'2" Weight: 237 lbs.
Ohhhhh yeaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!! Though Hulk Hogan was the biggest thing in wrestling during the 80s, the most talented headliner on the card was undoubtedly the Macho Man. Where do you begin when describing the legend of Randy Savage? I guess first, you'd address his character, which could be best summarised as 'batshit crazy'. The shades, the hat, the promos with Mean Gene Okerlund that teetered between incomprehensible noises and complete lunacy, he was the whole package in the weirdest possible way. But let's not forget what he was when he was in the squared circle: simply one of the most athletic and energetic big men in wrestling history. I remember a tag match where him and Hogan were together. Hulk's was the standard fare of the time; slow-paced and crowd influencing. Then, Savage tags in and comes flying at the opponents like the Tasmanian Devil. He always seemed to be, as I once saw it so eloquently put, 'high as balls', and it resulted in one of the most legendary and enduring figures in wrestling.



#5: Bret Hart
Real name: Bret Hart
Debut: 1978
From: Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Height: 6'0", Weight: 235 lbs.
Whenever a debate occurs about where the greatest wrestlers come from, it doesn't take the Canadian participant long to mention the Hit Man. He is one of the purest top guys in WWE history: a man who embodied everything it took to be the perfect wrestler.

A fan favourite as one of many tag combinations and still recognised as one of the greatest heavyweight champions of all time (five times in WWE alone), Bret remains the pinnacle of what every Canadian wrestler aspires to be: a guy who let his talent do the talking, and who projected an aura unlike any other. He was the unquestioned star of the pre-Attitude 90s era, and as a result, he became a staple of the many curiosities of our childhood that we still hold dear today. Whether it's his appearance on the Simpsons ('this place has got old man stink!') or as one of the participants of the greatest wrestling game of all time... You know the one...



#4: The New Day (Xavier Woods, Big E & Kofi Kingston)
Real names: Austin Watson, Ettore Ewen & Kofi Nahaje Sarkodie-Mensahamp 
Debut: 2014
From: various
Combined Weight: 702 lbs.
I tried to just pick one. I really, truly did. Because this was supposed to be a list of my favourite wrestlers - and this entry will stick out like a sore thumb. Is it Kofi's athleticism? Xavier's wizardry with the mic? Or Big E's fluidity that makes him look like a man half his size? It's... it's just everything, man. I couldn't choose. Because as a collective, they have reignited my interest in wrestling. Each of them is fantastic, but this faction has captivated me in a way that no other has before. Their gimmick is wondrous, their promos unrivalled, their matches sharp and yet oh so much goofy fun. Lumped with a run-of-the-mill gospel schtick, they retooled it to become the most refreshing thing in wrestling in, dare I say it, more than a decade. I just love them, and I hope beyond hope that their tenure is a long one. They've got so much more left to do, and I look forward to it. And if you really dislike the fact that I listed a trio in my top 20, I'm sorry for ruining your jamboree.



#3: Chris Jericho
Real name: Christopher Keith Irvine
Debut: 1990
From: Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
Height: 6'0" Weight: 227 lbs.
Third place goes to the best heel of the new millennium: Chris freakin' Jericho. This guy is pure money, man. A rockstar (legitimately, no less) who oozes charisma, he's simply infectious. You want to watch Jericho, whether you love him or hate him. One of the true students of the game, Jericho was like putty, mouldable to best complement the abilities of his opponents. If you needed him to be a grounded technician, he brought it. If you needed an up-tempo flyer, look no further. There was nothing he couldn't do - the only limitations were your imagination.

I already alluded to it, but Jericho not only ranks top three for my overall wrestlers, he's easily top three in the promo game, to boot. He takes a storyline and just runs with it, building momentum and energy that makes it the most important thing on the card. Then, the match happens, and what do you know? It steals the show. He just brings it, man.



#2: Kurt Angle
Real name: Kurt Steven Angle
Debut: 1998
From: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Height: 6'0" Weight: 240 lbs.
Whenever the legitimacy of professional wrestling comes under fire, my trump card remains Kurt Angle, perhaps the greatest pro wrestler of all time. We all know the story; he's a legitimate gold medal Olympian. He made the jump to the pro game, and he had a rookie campaign akin to Oscar Robertson. From there, he just never stopped, having a knack for sports entertainment that makes him the top dog no matter where he goes. He was just the absolute best - unrivalled as a pure wrestler, often hilarious and fantastic fun on the microphone, and courageous enough to give anything a shot: see, his moonsault off the cage. See further, any of his moonsaults, which are the prettiest in the game.

Remember before how I said that if I had a company, Benjamin would get a push as #1? For the record, Angle would be the one running the whole show.



#1: Lance Storm
Real name: Lance Timothy Evers
Debut: 1990
From: Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Height: 5'1" Weight: 231 lbs.
Anyone who knows my wrestling history ('sup Dennie?) knows that this spot was never in question. When I began to actively follow wrestling in about 2000, I was watching WCW, and I instantly became a fan of Lance Storm. He is my Steve McNair, my Joe Carter - my most favourite athlete of the pro wrestling world! And why wouldn't he be; his matches are like butter, man, because they are smooth as hell. A man who grappled better than most others, Lance was typically a heel (and that's how I prefer him, mostly), but when he did a face turn in 2003, he opened up a whole new bag of tricks. Despite the fact he was 34 years old and no spring chicken, he was bouncing and flipping about like a man half his age. It made you realise: he could always do the high-flying antics, but he chose not to because he understood that as the villain, he could not get the crowd on his side. A true genius. A cunning veteran. And my favourite wrestler. Bless you, Lance.

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Tony's Titans 2015/16: Marcus and Friends


Who'd have thought we'd end up here - with the top pick in the draft for the first time in my stint as a Titans backer. With only one more win than we mustered in the previous season, you'd imagine that I would be feeling just as bitter as I did this time last year. But I'm really not, and you'll find out why shortly (or you could make an inference from the header image, I guess).

Am I convinced that the Titans are better than their 3-13 record indicated? Not as a whole, no. They have more gaps to fill than the Titanic. But they have enough promising prospects here and there peppered about the roster, that with one really solid offseason, they could jump atop the weak AFC South. The opportunity is there for the taking, just ask yourself objectively: were they to somehow land Joe Thomas, Alex Mack and a strong CB in free agency, then bolster their trenches with Joey Bosa, how could they not be a threat?

Quarterback
#3 Matt Hasselbeck (2011-2012)
Matty Ice has slipped! What could this mean? And where on earth is Vince the Prince? Gadzooks...!

#2 Marcus Mariota
2015-present


All-Time Career
230-370 for 2,818 yards, 19 TDs, 10 Ints, 91.5 rating
34 rushes for 252 yards, 2 TDs, 10 fumbles, 7.4 Avg

Jump on this bandwagon while you still can kiddies, because it's going to get crowded real fast. Though it may appear presumptuous to the point of foolishness for me to anoint Mariota the real deal after only one injury-shortened season and a personal record of 3-9, but it's clear to anyone watching that this kid has it. Remember how I was drooling at the mouth about the idea of stealing Vince Young in the draft and watching him become legendary? This is the same thing, except with key intangibles that Vince lacked. Mariota is quiet, heady and determined. He will learn from his mistakes and improve his game with each season.

The biggest hurdle he faces, and it is indeed one that terrifies me, is his offensive line. They were so terrible in 2015, they couldn't even block a spambot. Mariota hit the turf 38 times officially, and countless times beyond that without the ball in his hands. This is simply unacceptable. David Carr never got a chance to succeed in the NFL because of dismal protection stunting his growth, and if the same were to happen to Mariota, it could be a deal breaker for me. I wouldn't jump teams, of course, but the Titans would find themselves at the back of the Tony fandom line, reserved for such oddities as Liverpool and the Sydney Swans.

To put it simply: DO NOT MESS THIS UP, TENNESSEE. My occasional merchandise dollars depend on it!!

#1 Steve McNair (1995-2005)
Hello Mac, my old friend. You look down on us from the heavens, smiling warmly and shaking your head at this hapless little team you so loved. Then, you probably crash into something and break three bones, but shrug it off anyway. That's just the kind of fella you are.

Running Back
#3 Chris Johnson (2008-2013)
#2 Chris Brown (2003-2007)
#1 Eddie George (1996-2003)
Strangely enough, though these rankings are populated entirely by guys who no longer have any relevance to the success of the Titans (unless CJ gashes them when they play Arizona), they are more fluid and evolving than you'd think. I am actually liking Johnson better in hindsight than I have in prior years, further removed from his grotesque verbal skills and more fondly remembering the way he would gallop across the field. Maybe he'll grab the second spot back from Chris Brown soon, who in all honesty is more beloved for his Madden contributions than anything he actually did in real life. Meanwhile, steady Eddie becomes more of a favourite for me with each passing day. He's on Broadway now, man. Eddie, you are the freaking KING.

Fullback
#1 Ahmard Hall (2006-2011)
Nothing to report here. Just a badass dude who deserves recognition for his solid contributions over the years. With the fullback position being reduced more and more each year, I wouldn't be surprised if he hangs onto his spot for a long time yet.

Wide Receiver
#5 Tyrone Calico (2003-2005)
#4 Kendall Wright (2012-present)
#3 Nate Washington (2009-2014)
#2 Derrick Mason (1997-2004)
#1 Drew Bennett (2001-2006)
Meh. This could have been an opportunity for Kendall to leapfrog Nate, but alas, there wasn't enough success on the field to warrant it. Kendall is built more like a slot guy than a true #1 receiver; if he were properly utilised he could really do some damage. Down in the 5 hole, Tyrone Calico sees another threat approaching - the unknown Dorial Green-Beckham. Could he be the next big thing in Tennessee? Or another uber-talented guy who couldn't put it together, not unlike Calico himself? Hard to say, really. Fun fact: though Drew is locked in at #1 in the Tony's Titans rankings, were I to actually field this team competitively, Mason would be the go-to guy. D-Mase quietly eked out a really fantastic career, and nobody really noticed for some reason.

Tight End
#2 Erron Kinney (2000-2006)
#1 Frank Wycheck (1995-2003)
So Delanie Walker puts together the most prolific season for a tight end in Titans history, yet still can't breach the compound? How is this fair, exactly? The answer is simple: it doesn't have to be. Maybe one more season and some actual success in the W-L column will be enough to stamp his ticket. In my defence, I actually really like all of the guys I mentioned last year (Cook, Crumpler and Troupe), whereas Walker hasn't endeared himself to me in the same way somehow. If you don't like it, make your own damn rankings!! ...And link to my blog please, because I need the clickz.

Tackle
#4 Jon Runyan (1996-1999)
#3 David Stewart (2005-2013)
#2 Michael Roos (2005-2014)
#1 Brad Hopkins (1993-2005)
Your time will come, Taylor Lewan. Just keep on keepin' on, and you will know the glory and majesty that is Tony's Titans rankings (an illustrious place in history that has contained such luminaries as Roydell Wiliams and Lamont Thompson). Much like Delanie Walker, Lewan is a viable building block towards success, but without collecting actual victories, he falls short. Call me a hypocrite for not applying this same stigma to Mariota, if you will, but I just love the guy that much. So much so that he's actually one of only four players that I've ever bought a jersey for (the others being McNair, George and a little-known special teamer named Anthony Cocking. Yes, I'm that lame).

Guard
#4 Jacob Bell (2004-2007)
#3 Jake Scott (2008-2011)
#2 Benji Olson (1998-2007)
#1 Bruce Matthews (1983-2001)
For a third straight time, I must allude to the possibility of a new entrant in the near future, this time in the form of Chance Warmack. He shed a lot of weight last offseason and looked to take the leap, but somehow, he just... didn't. Whether the poor performance of the line as a whole has sullied his image, or if he simply couldn't put it together as I had hoped, he's definitely stalled. I can entirely see a future (perhaps the one I alluded to with Thomas and Mack) where Warmack jumps straight into third place, but we'll have to wait and see. Also, how fantastic would it be to have Mack and Warmack on the same team? Like Alex is Mack, and Chance is the Mack of War?!

Center
#2 Kevin Matthews (2010-2012, 2013)
#1 Kevin Mawae (2006-2009)
I really don't like having Kevin Matthews in my rankings, if we're being honest. I love him simply because he is a Matthews, and his presence merely makes my rankings look pitiful. Have you ever googled Kevin Matthews? He's so anonymous that most articles are actually about a serial killer. I don't think that's him. Anyway, Kevin Mawae was such a beast for Tennessee, I've somehow convinced myself that he was actually there during the glory years of the late 90s and early 00s. Take that, Justin Hartwig!

Defensive End
#4 Kenny Holmes (1997-2000)
#3 Kevin Carter (2001-2004)
#2 Kyle Vanden Bosch (2005-2009)
#1 Jevon Kearse (1999-2003, 2008-2009)
On that note, I'm so glad the DE rankings actually resemble a real, credible thing. Two solid contributors in Holmes and Carter, led by the beasts that were KVB and Kearse - two very different types of players who got results.

Defensive Tackle
#3 Albert Haynesworth (2002-2008)
#2 Tony Brown (2006-2010)
#1 Jurrell Casey (2011-present)
Wowsers trousers! Jurrell's done it at long last, not only using a swim move to surpass Albert Haynesworth, but bull rushing Tony Brown to the ground en route to the #1 ranking he truly deserves. It shouldn't be that much of a surprise, I guess, if you've been reading this blog. Casey made an appearance most recently in my top 10 favourite current athletes, it was bound to translate to results in the rankings. Welcome home, Jurrell. I hope now you can get the recognition you really deserve for quite honestly being one of the most dominant d-linemen in the league.

Outside Linebacker
#4 Derrick Morgan (2010-present)

All-Time Career
215* combined tackles, 27.5 sacks, 5 forced fumbles, 20 deflections

Honestly, Derrick Morgan probably deserved to have made this list much earlier, but unfortunately I had such high expectations when he was drafted that he could scarcely live up to the hype. He slogged mightily in the trenches as a DE before the 3-4 shift, and now exists as an entirely solid OLB. He hit the shelf too early last year, but prior to that, he was a useful piece of a pretty good defence. If the Titans are to turn a corner next season, Morgan will definitely be a big reason, and the fact that he re-signed with Tennessee helps his cause, too. The only question mark is whether the rest of the backers can play up to his standard?

#3 Peter Sirmon (2000-2006)
#2 David Thornton (2006-2010)
#1 Keith Bulluck (2000-2009)
Just some good ol' boys who did some good ol' football. Keith Bulluck remains immortal.

Inside Linebacker
#3 Avery Williamson (2014-present)
#2 Randall Godfrey (2000-2002)
#1 Stephen Tulloch (2006-2010)
Well, shucks. I guess there really isn't much to say here. Williamson's sophomore season was unspectacular; the most noteworthy thing he did was the Hotline Bling dance after sacking Cam Newton. Newton later did a TD celebration dance that Williamson did not like. Newton is now bound for the Super Bowl, and I can't imagine Williamson liking that very much, either.

Cornerback
#5 Jason McCourty (2009-present)
#4 Andre Dyson (2001-2004)
#3 Alterraun Verner (2010-2013)
#2 Cortland Finnegan (2006-2011)
#1 Samari Rolle (1998-2004)
More of the same, really. McCourty gets knicked up, and the rest of the cornerbacks look like fools, by and large. While we're talking about the Panthers making the big dance, actually, let's give props to my man Cortland Finnegan: he is the biggest reason I will be cheering for Carolina to win. Because after all, I'm not one of these guys who gets bitter about guys running for greener pastures. Chris Bosh played his heart out for atrocious teams in Toronto, then finally took his rings with the Heat. Good on you, Chris Bosh! Munenori Kawasaki is on his way to Chicago, so of course, if the Jays aren't in the World Series, I hope the Cubs can take it all - Mune's celebration alone would make it worth it. I'd even be happy for Vince Carter to claim the title, as long as it isn't with Memphis.

Free Safety
#2 Vincent Fuller (2005-2010)
#1 Marcus Robertson (1991-2000)
Vincent Fuller was a backup to Michael Griffin. I liked him better. Daimion Stafford is a backup to Michael Griffin. I like him better, too. I hope he gets more playing time next season, I think they've really got something there.

Strong Safety
#2 Chris Hope (2006-2011)
#1 Blaine Bishop (1993-2001)
Of course, the issue is that Stafford actually plays strong safety, officially. So he's really the backup to DaNorris Searcy, who I like better than Michael Griffin, too. Poor Michael Griffin, I don't know why I dislike him so much - I guess it's just been too many years of maddening mistakes. Including some missed tackles when I was playing Madden - which you could call Maddening mistakes, if you were so inclined.

Kicker
#1 Rob Bironas (2005-2013)
Remember when Bironas kicked eight field goals against the Texans? That's either an awesome indication of how good he was, or a sad reminder of how pathetic the offense was in actually finishing drives. Either way, Bironas rocked.

Punter
#1 Craig Hentrich (1998-2009)
Like seriously, Craig is a punter, yet ranked in at #11 when I pitted all of the Titans against each other. That's some serious shit, man.

Head Coach
#1 Jeff Fisher (1994-2010)
Because he's certainly not Mike Mularkey.

Favourite Game
Steelers 14, Titans 31 (December 21, 2008)
Week 1 against the Buccaneers this year is also a contender, you know.

Tony's Year
- DISCONTINUED -
Because like we established last year, a guy like Kevin Matthews accounts for as much of a vote as Steve McNair, and that's just silly. Plus it was a pain in the ass to crunch the numbers. My guess is that the winner was probably still 2006, or something.

...Here's another picture of Marcus Mariota for your enjoyment.