What's cracking, my preferred representatives of domestic disturbance? I just woke up from my hard-earned nap, to find Jessica's left me all on my lonesome here and I'm sprawled across three chairs with a piece of paper attached to my cheek and a spine resembling the offspring of Mick Foley and a Slinky.
By this point, I suppose I should focus on relevant facts and revelations to amuse you with, but these things appear to be distinctly lacking in my mind right now, I'm seriously typing without thinking here. Or I am thinking, and my fingers are incoherently recording what comes out. Look, flippy dippy doo.
Cosi's done and dusted (a month ago), and I now present the following possibility of whom you are right now.
1. Are you Jessica or my sister who have stumbled upon this BLOG?
2. Are you Broden, having actually used MySpace for the first time in two years?
3. Are you Luke, MJ, dad or Simon, having suddenly joined aforementioned MySpace?
4. Are you the other Luke, suddenly viewing his own performance objectively (in which case we should watch Guys & Dolls NOW, Atcho)?
If you are not any of the above, then you smell bad and will have bad luck for approximately twenty-three minutes, because you did not come to see Cosi. I mean, I sent y'all e-mails and put up MySpace reminders and handed out at least two (count 'em, two) flyers. If I can go to Rosanna multiple times each week for about half a year now, you could have come once. But noooooooo, y'all had your precious little 'plans', didn't you? Huh? Huh? Well U2's 'With or Without You' is playing now and it makes me think that I'm dying. ...Hang on, I can't quite figure out why, but there's bound to be a reason.
Ahh, forget it. I tried. I'll just make a particular effort not to attend anything any of y'all ever do. If you get elected to prime ministry, I shall bite my thumb at you in disinterest, good sir! I mean Christ, you've gotten me paraphrasing Shakespeare here, you know you did some damage, man. I'm half a step off declaring you 'shag-haired villains' and/or 'eggs'.
Now then, I've gotten that out of the way, and am tempted to go have some delightful fun with my Wii. Jessica bought it for me for Christmas, y'know. ...On that note, what did any of YOU get me for Christmas, huh? Huh?? I sure know what I was going to give you for Christmas, the gift of me onstage, and you all threw it back, THREW IT BACK I SAY!!
...I'm sleepy again now, and the U2 song has changed so that my point isn't dramatic anymore. I shall return from whence I came. Rawr.
