Friday, June 6, 2008

Thinkin' Lincoln

As the category I've selected claims, what follows is nothing. Absolute nothing, at least in word form. Hahaha I almost typed word worm. This BLOG was so worth it.
As per usual, I've got a 1,800 word essay due tomorrow that I haven't started yet on not one but two books I haven't read; it's a bit of a daunting task ahead but I've treated it with nonchalance so far. I've been awake for three hours and still haven't actually done anything. Wait, that's not true. I got my mage up to level 7.

Here are some thoughts, streaming readily from my noggin like some sort of fine wine (or at least cheap goon).

1. My favourite videos on Youtube are people's 'sexy dances'. It's hilarious how so many people have convinced themselves they'd make an excellent stripper, and allow the whole world to see for themselves. People should really consider, yes you might have an alright body, but that doesn't mean that people want to see you dancing. Remember folks, in the realm of dancing, particularly 'sexy' dancing, you're crappy until proven otherwise. And once you've forsaken yourselves with one bad dance, each subsequent one will be treated with similar dismissal. Next time, take a naughty photo and send it in to a porno site. Might at least make some money that way.

2. Lordy I'm so tired. I feel like Lee Dorsey working in a coal mine, only with less repetetive lyrics and no catchy tune. Although I suppose I could formulate a catchy tune if you gave me a minute. I've got an excellent trance track I've come up with, but cannot reveal due to racist lyrics. There's no real reason I use racist lyrics, other than they just happen to suit the music well. I suppose I should re-write it to be about pumpkins.

3. That last point had far too many periods, Microsoft Word would be having fits about the 'fragmented sentences'. Consarn Microsoft Word, always putting an end to my meticulously planned sentence structure.

4. The fax machine has rung through like four times this morning. Go away, I don't want any faxes.

5. That essay still doesn't appear to be any more done than it was when I started this BLOG. I was hoping I'd get lucky on the off chance it'd just take care of itself. Still hoping, actually.

6. I want to ramble on about more Titans-related stuff, but it's so slow in the off-season... Vince developing chemistry with Alge... Receivers vying for playing time among a crowd of mediocrity... Fisher getting so much positive and negative media coverage you'd think it was just two journalists trying to outdo each other with a multitude of aliases... Waiting for a bombshell. Or was that Jake Scott?

7. Should probably start that essay. Should probably stop watching NFL videos. They don't appear to have anything about Once Were Warriors or Song of Solomon. Perhaps the next one will?

8. Phenomenology is the most idiotic concept in the whole world, and anyone who theorises in it is a moron. It's just a bunch of pretentious German clowns using uncommon terms and adding '-ness' to the end of every phrase. They have an answer for everything. Not the right answer, but they'd never distinguish it as being anything but right because you can't prove it wrong. Martin Heidegger deserves a swift post-mortem kick in the nads; the only good thing he ever did was (unwillingly, obviously) lend his surname to the Final Fantasy VII guy who would just punch soldiers in the face repeatedly when pissed off. Now that's cool.

9. If The Waitresses truly know what boys like... do they realise I really really REALLY don't like that song?

10. Why is it when I put Anthony Cocking in a search engine a photo of the late Cynthia Ashton came up? I won't display the photo out of respect. And because I can't remember how image tags work on Myspace.

...Alright I'm out. Word up.

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