...Are found everywhere all over the web, for any kind of man/woman you desire. They're not readily available in my BLOG, a BLOG wherein I'll stay rather cautious, for it seems as though I've forgotten all of the things I had promised to say this time in my prior BLOG effort. Instead, I'm listening to Aqua, knackered from working the day shift (damn that day shift!!), a wee bit tipsy (as I usually am), and feeling the need to discuss whatever's on my mind. And no, it's not how many naked photos I shall post. That number hovers around the realm of zero.
For today, we shalt look at the upcoming production with HTC youth. For those of you unaware, this is my fifth straight project with HTC, giving me the second-longest streak, bested only by that dastardly Jess. This month it's a wee little piece we've dubbed Shakespeare Shorts, for those looking for a little Willie. ...ie., excerpts from Shakespeare productions, possibly the most infuriating concept I've ever dealt with.
Nothing against ol' Shakey, but I'm really, really, really struggling with lines and elocution. I'm excellent with learning lines, because they become phrases to me. I learn them word for word, and I'm fairly unyielding on how they're delivered. In the case of Shakespeare however, I'm really at a loss as to what I'm saying (something that will come to me with time), but above all else, I'm dwelling on how I'm going to remember it all!
Currently I'm taking on the roles of Lysander (Midsummer Night's Dream) and Iago (Othello), with a brief cameo as Mustardseed (Midsummer again. Wanted a mechanical, didn't raise my voice quickly enough). For anyone unfamiliar with the roles, Lysander is a man in love with his chick Hermia, until a magic spell makes him disgusted with her, and fall in love with another woman. Meanwhile Iago is a bitter prick who's jealous of Othello and wants him out of the picture, and intends to manipulate others to get what he wants. Finally, Mustardseed is a fairy. It's funnier if you pronounce it "Moostard".
Lysander is a pretty meaty role, with a lot of moving around and trying to work my way around three other people, while Iago... hoo boy... Iago likes to talk. I mean. REALLY likes to talk. Consequently, his confidant, one Roderigo, can't seem to muster up much of a response. Example;
IAGOLechery, by this hand; an index and obscure prologue
to the history of lust and foul thoughts. They met
so near with their lips that their breaths embraced
together. Villanous thoughts, Roderigo! when these
mutualities so marshal the way, hard at hand comes
the master and main exercise, the incorporate
conclusion, Pish! But, sir, be you ruled by me: I
have brought you from Venice. Watch you to-night;
for the command, I'll lay't upon you. Cassio knows
you not. I'll not be far from you: do you find
some occasion to anger Cassio, either by speaking
too loud, or tainting his discipline; or from what
other course you please, which the time shall more
favourably minister.Well.
That's right. "Well." That's how he responds. You'd be excused for mistaking Roderigo for Samantha Stephens. In the particular scene we're doing, there's a total of 835 words. Roderigo speaks 41 of them. For those who aren't mathematically inclined (this includes me, because I'm only just finding this out now too), Iago then commands 794 words. How many of them being of any relevance is another matter, but we'll leave that one up to the experts.
Honestly, I just think Shakespeare absolutely hated the guy he cast as Roderigo, and cut out whatever massive speeches he originally had. Certainly doesn't make sense for a Shakespeare character not to have anything to say, everyone loves to talk, talk, talk. In any situation whatsoever! You can't get them to shut up, actually. Example one, Macduff's young son in Macbeth, shortly after being stabbed:
He has kill'd me, mother:
Run away, I pray you!
Observant little corpse, oui? Example two, Friar Laurence of Romeo & Juliet utters the phrase:
I will be brief, for my short date of breath
Is not so long as is a tedious tale.
Afterwards, he says a couple lines that equate to 307 words. If that was a short breath to our good Friar, then I'd hate to see him when he's feeling long-winded. Any more examples would be easy to find. I guess what I'm saying is, everyone present in Shakespeare would be most excellently be played by Grampa Simpson.
But I digress. Not so much as Shakespeare, or Victor Hugo for that matter, who bogged down Les Miserables with so much stuff that there are at least five books completely irrelevant to the novel's plotline (save the last little part of the Waterloo chapter), or more accurately 121 pages of digression. And that's in the really small font that you can hardly read. And what's the payoff? You're a more astute person, armed to the teeth with information about how a monastery works and how the sewers of Paris were built. Lemme condense it for you, Vic; Valjean's hiding in a monastery. Valjean's hiding in a sewer. Simple as that. Valjean certainly does a lot of hiding. Just very wordy hiding, I must note. And while we're at it, everyone in France needs glasses, because nobody in Les Mis can seem to figure out who each other is after a short period of time. More mistaken identity than a Shakespearean comedy! And just as many wordy digressions!
Righto. Is there any other direction I can go with this curious little BLOG? Looking over everything I've just said, I can't go any further down. One may suggest that the only direction would be up, but that's not true at all; it may maintain this level of irrelevance and continue merely going forward. Forward is a direction, you know.
Perhaps then I should abandon ship and end this miserable little diatribe, leaving you all to scratch your heads and ask yourselves 'What the dickens did I just read? Shakespearen plays? French novels from the 1800s? An apparent lack of nude photographs? Pish!'
Sorry y'all. Gotta do it. Tempted to just keep going, but it's going to just turn into utter tosh like how Te Informo is my favourite Latin song and how when I began this BLOG I was listening to an Aqua song, and now upon completion iTunes has hit another Aqua song, with another 13 songs squeezed in between them. One would then suggest that this BLOG took 52.1 minutes to construct, if one should feel the need. One just did, you realise.
...And did anyone really come here just for naked photos? Wowsers trousers. Y'all could seek a better model than yours truly for that.
