Get down son and/or daughter

Hop on your good feet, young things, and engage in the bad thing. Whatever could this bad thing be? There's a chance it's underage smoking. Only a mild chance, though.

You know what I hate? Looking up my name on Yahoo! or Google or whatever search engine takes my fancy on a particular day. You know why? Because I'm sick of hearing about Tony cocking his gun. Stop cocking the friggin' gun, Tony! All you do is divert search results away from myself, and this makes me sad. I enjoy looking onto the Internet to see where I've earnt any notoriety, and so far it's rather scarce (see = nonexistent). Perhaps someday I will find an entire website dedicated to me... I wonder what will be on it?

Six easy steps to training your Tony Cocking?

Horrific Tony Cocking-related tales of tragedy?

The joy of cooking Tony Cocking?

A list of reasons 'Y I H8 TONY F'IN COCCING'?

Perhaps... Additionally, I need to stop leaping into these BLOGs with nothing other than a mildly amusing title. My readers will likely stop coming if they find nothing of value. On the plus side, today I did manage to... holy crap, I was legitimately thinking for about two minutes there and came up with nothing. What a terrible day it's apparently been!

Oh dear... going to a screening of a short film featuring myself tonight... hopefully that'll calm my frayed nerves. Or make things worse, we'll see.
Here's an idea, could someone who reads this please suggest some typing material for a future BLOG? I'm getting rather desperate, will take suggestions from anyone; friends, relatives, members of the 'I H8 TONY' website, anyone...

AUDITIONS FOR THE PLAYS!

Hello there, kindelah!

The big day is upcoming for the short play auditions! I want y'all to come on down and try out for as many or as few as you'd like!

The actual production will be taking place with Heidelberg Theatre Company in December... I can't remember when, exactly. I'll get back to you on that one.

The auditions are being held this Sunday (21st) and Monday (22nd) at 7:30 pm, at the Rosanna Scout Hall, it's like a five minute walk from the theatre and the Rosanna train station. If you have any troubles finding the place, feel free to call me, if you don't have my number just ask!

Rosanna Scout Hall, De Winton Park, St. James Rd, Rosanna, Melways ref 32 A1.

The Dead Room was written and shall be directed by myself, I'm taking on the role of assistant director in Pitching Alaska (Jess playing the part of director there), and I'm likely to pop my head into the last two for one reason or another.
If you're interested, be sure to turn up, or better still, send me a message with your email so I can email you all the scripts and you can get up to speed before the big day.

Hope to see you all there! Feel free to bring any friends along, too.

~ Tony

PS. Jess has made mutterings that she'd prefer to do Pitching Alaska with American accents... not entirely necessary for the audition, but it could come in handy! ;)

The champion at pretty much everything

After a day like today, how could I not be considered the world's greatest BS artist? Today I had my final performance for a class, equating for roughly 30% of my mark, and I NAILED it, peeps. Well ok, people who were actually in the class might disagree, but in my own convoluted opinion, I was fan-bloody-tastic. The only thing it was missing was a topless finale, but David did that. And David makes me feel small. :(

In this performance, I made parallels between myself and an apple, while eating paper. Multiple sexual implications were made, audience members cringed, and supposedly there was vomiting somewhere along the way. All up, not a bad effort I say.
The winning factor in this little equation of deception would be the fact that I made up the whole bloody performance on the train in about seven minutes this morning. Though I must admit, I owe a great deal of that to mah Jess-unit, who continues to be an ongoing source of inspiration and a constant saviour of my rear.

Beyond that, not a whole lot to say. I always jump into these BLOGs with a lot on the mind, but it all dissipates after the first couple paragraphs. Oh well.