$6,460.57

It's a pretty large sum, isn't it? Larger still when you consider that that's in American dollars, the current Australian exchange rate places it somewhere in the realm of $6,861.83. A great sum of money sitting right there either way, and in some weird little way, I possess a collection of things that make up to that approximate amount.

So what is it? A couple of sweet second-hand vehicles I got on the cheap? A pair of computers, perhaps? Or that ever-coveted golden grill planted right on my choppers?
Well, no. As a matter of fact, it's what IGN estimates my video game collection is currently worth. Huh.
Who knows how they work out this sum(bitch); do they consider the ever-shifting market value of old games? Is each game valued independently, depending on its rarity and overall value? And is Bubsy 3D appropriately the 20c it's really worth (and that's being generous)? Who knows. Who also knows how many times I'm going to use my cliche three suggestions before providing a completely different answer, I'm actually getting sick of it but it's easy to do and gives me a chuckle along the way.

Anyhow, it just goes to show you I've got my priorities all laid out in a strange way; I don't drive, I hadn't held a job until this year, and I have no plans for life post-university. What I do have however, is 209 video games that I can quite willingly beat anyone in. Except the SNES' Jurassic Park, which is more or less hell planted within your hands.

I wonder how much this collection will be worth in another five years? It's certainly growing rapidly; in just a week that sum will go up by about another $50 ($100 Australian) when, as I've constantly alluded to, Smash Bros Brawl is within my grasp and within my gaping maw. Anyone who wants to see the actual list need only ask, I'll merrily provide you with the details. Don't be surprised if that number has since shot up as I've added in everything I've forgotten along the way.

smashbrossmashbrossmashbrossmashbros...

Though I don't anticipate an upcoming video game with the excitement and frustration that I used to in my younger years (though I was just a more excitable, frustrated person altogether back then), it's hard to name exactly one game that I've been anticipating as much as Smash Bros Brawl.

Now only an enticing sixteen days away, I celebrate each passing day by knowing it'll bring me closer to Nintendo's dirty little secret (that the rest of the non-European world have been playing with for half a year now). Perhaps it's this prolonged wait leaving a bitter taste in my mouth, or a lack of updates about every little detail via the main site, but this obsession of mine has died down drastically over the last few months. Tonight I have nothing better to do (besides tons of legal paperwork and an essay), so let's observe some wee little Smash-related thoughts!

1. There certainly are a lot of contenders for the elusive title of 'Tony's main'. Though only three have ever held this title (Pikachu in the original, Bowser in Melee for the first couple days, and Falco the incumbent since May 31st '02), the ever-increasing roster appears to hold a few new possibilities... Though I'll probably determine my main within the first week, here are the nominees!
1. Falco ~ Tried and true, Falco won me over by being a kickass Nintendo character (like Bowser) who translated into a kickass Smash Bros fighter (unlike Bowser). I've become quite good with him, but how will the new modifications sway my decision?
2. Sonic ~ How can I not be tempted? My childhood hero finally has his shot at Mario. He looks like a blast, but I'm not a big fan of his specials - they all seem a bit samey to me.
3. Pokemon Trainer ~ Definitely a distant third; the concept of playable Squirtle and Charizard is absolutely wonderful (you all know about my history with the latter), but the concept of PLAYABLE IVYSAUR is just a gift from heaven. Cycling through the three will probably put me off, but I'll try it out. Who knows, I might be able to master it... or even Pokemon Master it! (Hahaha... lamebuttons)
4. Pikachu ~ Pika's got the outside track on this one; definitely looking on the inside, as t'wer, the way an NFC team with a losing record still has a shot at the playoffs late in the year (because outside of the east, the NFC sucks). He hasn't got much of a chance at all, though he did enjoy a stint as my alternate in Melee, to the point where he still has the third most KOs of any character (behind only my Falco and Luke's Fox); if this were a matter of the alternates, Pikachu likely ranks up top to retain the position.
5. Bowser ~ They've beefed him up some... I've become too accustomed to the speedy characters, so things look grim for him to make an unexpected comeback. He may just have to settle for holding onto his unflattering role as alternate alternate, but he's a bit of a long shot even for that.

2. The new roster additions must be pretty good; of my main Smash comrades (Luke, Matt and Dom), all of us may have new mains - Luke from Fox to Wolf, Matt from Kirby to MetaKnight and Dom from Link to Diddy Kong. Like Falco's competition, we'll see if any of those decisions stick...

3. Anyone who considers Smash Bros a sport should be shot. If there's one thing worse than jocks who are arrogant about their sporting ability, it'd be nerds who are arrogant about their sporting ability. Fortunately, it'll never gain worldwide recognition as a sport, but unfortunately, I'm still yet to convince ESPN that poker and hot dog eating contests aren't sports, either.

4. I wanna record my matches! :)

5. I wanna record matches longer than three minutes. :(

6. I wanna cast 'Magic Missile'. :o

7. That last point was such a wonderful example of what an Internet-obsessed geek I am, though I am happy to say that the DVD of Shakespeare's Shorts has re-affirmed my belief that I am in fact a tank. It was the most fantabulous thing since this classic Articulate exchange;
Atcho: (giving a clue to the answer) "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn."
Me: "Oh. Casablanca!"
Atcho: "Correct!"
Hilarious how in that instance, two wrongs did in actual fact make a right. (This point has had nothing to do with Smash Bros. Though I do suspect Captain Falcon might play a few rounds of Articulate on occasion.)

8. Smashboards question: How many characters can they possibly fit in this game?
Respectable Opinion: posted by DragoKnight (that's me you stooges) on March 28th, 2007 at 1:41 AM.
I can see 40 being a pretty logical number, though it'll probably be more like in the ballpark, rather than 40 on the nose. Maybe... 37. Yeah, that's a nice number.
Final Answer: Counting Pokemon Trainer as one character, Zelda/Sheik as two and Samus/Zero Suit Samus as two... 37. OH SNAP.

Thinkin' Lincoln

As the category I've selected claims, what follows is nothing. Absolute nothing, at least in word form. Hahaha I almost typed word worm. This BLOG was so worth it.
As per usual, I've got a 1,800 word essay due tomorrow that I haven't started yet on not one but two books I haven't read; it's a bit of a daunting task ahead but I've treated it with nonchalance so far. I've been awake for three hours and still haven't actually done anything. Wait, that's not true. I got my mage up to level 7.

Here are some thoughts, streaming readily from my noggin like some sort of fine wine (or at least cheap goon).

1. My favourite videos on Youtube are people's 'sexy dances'. It's hilarious how so many people have convinced themselves they'd make an excellent stripper, and allow the whole world to see for themselves. People should really consider, yes you might have an alright body, but that doesn't mean that people want to see you dancing. Remember folks, in the realm of dancing, particularly 'sexy' dancing, you're crappy until proven otherwise. And once you've forsaken yourselves with one bad dance, each subsequent one will be treated with similar dismissal. Next time, take a naughty photo and send it in to a porno site. Might at least make some money that way.

2. Lordy I'm so tired. I feel like Lee Dorsey working in a coal mine, only with less repetetive lyrics and no catchy tune. Although I suppose I could formulate a catchy tune if you gave me a minute. I've got an excellent trance track I've come up with, but cannot reveal due to racist lyrics. There's no real reason I use racist lyrics, other than they just happen to suit the music well. I suppose I should re-write it to be about pumpkins.

3. That last point had far too many periods, Microsoft Word would be having fits about the 'fragmented sentences'. Consarn Microsoft Word, always putting an end to my meticulously planned sentence structure.

4. The fax machine has rung through like four times this morning. Go away, I don't want any faxes.

5. That essay still doesn't appear to be any more done than it was when I started this BLOG. I was hoping I'd get lucky on the off chance it'd just take care of itself. Still hoping, actually.

6. I want to ramble on about more Titans-related stuff, but it's so slow in the off-season... Vince developing chemistry with Alge... Receivers vying for playing time among a crowd of mediocrity... Fisher getting so much positive and negative media coverage you'd think it was just two journalists trying to outdo each other with a multitude of aliases... Waiting for a bombshell. Or was that Jake Scott?

7. Should probably start that essay. Should probably stop watching NFL videos. They don't appear to have anything about Once Were Warriors or Song of Solomon. Perhaps the next one will?

8. Phenomenology is the most idiotic concept in the whole world, and anyone who theorises in it is a moron. It's just a bunch of pretentious German clowns using uncommon terms and adding '-ness' to the end of every phrase. They have an answer for everything. Not the right answer, but they'd never distinguish it as being anything but right because you can't prove it wrong. Martin Heidegger deserves a swift post-mortem kick in the nads; the only good thing he ever did was (unwillingly, obviously) lend his surname to the Final Fantasy VII guy who would just punch soldiers in the face repeatedly when pissed off. Now that's cool.

9. If The Waitresses truly know what boys like... do they realise I really really REALLY don't like that song?

10. Why is it when I put Anthony Cocking in a search engine a photo of the late Cynthia Ashton came up? I won't display the photo out of respect. And because I can't remember how image tags work on Myspace.

...Alright I'm out. Word up.

Inebriation

Hey there folks. Am fairly plastered right now (from uni, no less), and would recommend to you, don't down a bottle of Queen Adelaide Shiraz ('06) within five minutes - 8 standard drinks of red wine - unless you intend on looking like a dickhead the rest of the day, as I currently do. Afterwards I kicked the crap out of myself and took a free-fall into a pile of thumbtacks. It isn't easy being me, you know.

Spreading yourself too thin

In case you were unaware, Tony has friends. Quite a few, actually. A quick glance at my list of Myspace/Facebook friends (always an accurate barometer of popularity, of course) reveals I've befriended practically anyone who's ever sneezed at me in a particularly pleasing way. If you're reading this, odds are you're one of those friends anyhow.

So pause for a moment, dear friend, and ask yourself - who is your best friend in the whole wide world, above anyone else? (relationships don't count. Just your bestest best buddy)
Right? Got it? Good. You may continue.

Odds are paramount that the name you uttered was not Anthony/Tony/Ant or some other variation. You see, it's recently hit me; I'm the true also-ran of friends. The guy who gets the birthday invite and is quickly tucked away in a corner, the guy you don't confide in and rely on, the guy who will not be making any kind of speech at your next social gathering. Put short, I'm your real-life Mario, rather average and everyone's chum, but if you're given the option you'll opt instead for Falco or Marth (Brawl in one month!!)

I suppose I have only myself to blame, I do spread myself rather thin in life, pimping my services out to roughly eight different sub-divisions of humanity, and not to any particularly memorable effect. The amount of parties I miss due to my hectic schedule is fairly despicable, and I know I don't often extend a line to folks on a whim, but wow. Why does my excellence go so ignored?

Look, I realise Jess and I are close. But including her is cheating, because she's no mere human, she's a Jess. Of course we're best friends. But who else is out there? Who is my comrade? My confidant? My BFF? (An amusing phrase because it looks like the abbreviation for boyfriend. Tee-hee!)

So here's what we're doing. TONY IS HOLDING OPEN AUDITIONS FOR THE ROLE OF 'BEST FRIEND'. So come on! Show me what you've got. Make me your 1. Show me the love, and it doesn't even have to be platonic. Just be advised that being Tony's best friend requires an initial loading fee of $15, with an additional $5 charged to your account each week. Ending your services as Tony's best friend will incur a $20 cancellation fee, effective immediately. Prolonged exposure as Tony's best friend may result in irritation around the eyes and nose, use in regulation. If symptoms persist, consult your doctor.

WHILE SUPPLIES LAST!

Communal segregation and the black sheep mythos

Melton may be a great many things, but one would never make the claim that it is under-populated. Quite the contrary, it's crawling with lifeforms of varying value that by and large range from the dirtiest scum to the mere ne'er-do-wells, with your occasional exception to the rule like my sweet self.
It should come as no surprise then that nearly every train that stops in Melton will be packed to the gills with our kind. While other areas might provide a conservative few, us Melton kids come in droves, hastily shoving in and scrapping for one of those elusive seats to park upon. Is it proportionate to our overall growing numbers? Can so many of us simply not afford cars of our own? Or deep down are we just such unyielding fans of Thomas the Tank Engine that we all metriculate into the train station in the hopes of seeing a choo-choo, and the subsequent ride is just happenstance? I'll fathom a guess at 3, because it was an unnecessarily long suggestion and warrants a couple read-throughs.

Tragically for us simple folk, Melton remains without an electric train system. Now I could be a right whinger and flail my arms, citing our growing community and apparent love for trains as reason enough to give us an upgrade, but for the time being, I'm realistic.
We're flanked by Rockbank on one side and Ballan two stops in the other direction. It's almost as if Melton was created with the sole intention of being a near-literal example of 'the middle of nowhere'. Anyone with delusions of grandeur, remind yourselves, our claim to fame is that we have a Wave Pool. Neighbouring Bacchus Marsh has fruit vendors. We're still an insignificant speck in the bigger scheme of things.

So it's not like I'm demanding we go electric quick-smart. For the record, I love V/Line trains. They're comfortable and staffed by friendly people (you show me a Connex employee who isn't a prick, and I'll happily let you in on the meaning of life, as I'll have discovered it long before then). What I do want, if indeed V/Line is our longterm traveling option, is a more efficiently run system.

Melton truly is the red-headed stepchild of the train system (such a statement makes me think of Annie transforming into a train for some reason. Sorry sweetheart, but we don't collect things like ashtrays and art). Trains are unreliable and infrequent; I can't trust the damn things to ever be anything but inconsistent. I leave for work two hours early (a 40-minute train ride from home to destination) because if I wait for the next train, a delay of 15 minutes (a very realistic scenario) will result in my tardiness and no doubt subsequent termination.

I shake my head in utter contempt thinking about trains that whiz right past Melton, yet make a stop in Ballan. BALLAN, people. A locale so devoid of life it'd be a suitable location to film your next Raccoon City disaster without any interruption from intelligent life. Actually, zombies in 'the Ballan time forgot' wouldn't surprise me.
Of additional note, this morning the express train from Ballarat to Melbourne shot past, shiny and on time, practically mocking us as it went by, a deadly reminder of that which we could just not have. If it were indeed a descendant of dearest Thomas, 'Look but don't touch, fellows!' it would have tooted cheekily in its Ringo Starr-narrated voice.
The train we Melton misfits would then catch was eight minutes late, only a single set of carriages and a downgraded older model to boot.

Last night (a Tuesday), I missed the 8:25 pm train and had to wait until 9:55 for the next one. Are you trying to tell me that nobody needs to travel to Melton on a Tuesday night for a whole hour and a half? That's ridiculous; a Connex train line (assuming they leave every 25 minutes, most lines even more frequently) would fit three services in that time frame.

So here's my theory; Australia hates Melton. They fear us because we're different. We grow in numbers and try to get respectable jobs and educations, but are seen as inferior and as such we're subject to insults and disrespect, forced to ride on an older, less cosy train, and left to wait for ages while others are served promptly and frequently. Put short, Melton is a minority. Segregation, lack of rights, all that jazz.
But just you wait. Someday we too will have our say. We're allowed to vote, who knows what's next! World domination, methinks.

PS. The title of this BLOG was originally just 'Communal Segregation', but adding the suffix makes it feel more like a uni essay, which is incidentally what I'm supposed to be doing right now.

Shakespeare's Shorts

Denim. That's right. Shakespeare wears jean shorts. It's a recently unearthed fact that may shock you. Additionally, he wears Bond's jocks. And oddly coloured socks, to boot. ...And the less said about Shakespeare's tatts, the better!

Indeed! I am referring to the imminent oncoming production of Shakespeare's Shorts, my fifth straight production with HTC Youth and what will be the last in that streak of acting performances with the company (GROUNDBREAKING!!!) Iffin you haven't already gotten the gyst, it's sexcerpts from Shakespeare (excerpts actually, but I mis-typed it and thought it best to just leave it for comedy's sake) performed to great success by some of the finest acting talent you'll find in all of Victoria. ...oh, and me, too!

Having had to shift roles due to drop-outs, my talkative friend Iago has been given the old boot to the wayside, to make way for me to take the reigns of the ghost in Hamlet. I'm a manipulative old codger you see.

It's on Friday, 16th of May at 8pm at Heidelberg Theatre Company (36 Turnham Avenue, Rosanna - RIGHT NEXT TO ROSANNA TRAIN STATION) and guess what? It's free! That's right, we're giving performances away! That's how generous we are. And how can you be generous? By coming and lending your old theatre-bound chums a bit of an audience, oui?